A mother’s call for creativity

Nicola is a trustee of Baby Umbrella and also runs @crxeate, a forum for doctors to share their interest in creativity.

Watercolour by Nicola Kirkwood

‘When did you last explore your creative side?’ I don’t mean making a World Book Day costume or turning a toilet roll into a rocket. I mean creative time that is just for you? 

In our pre-parenting lives many of us may had some kind of creative pursuit, but then life with children took over. I’m a doctor, a mum to two boys, and an occasional poet and artist, with a fair dose of imposter syndrome threaded throughout all those things! Like everyone, life is always busy, with its unpredictable and often exhausting highs and lows, but I try to sneak in moments of creativity when I can.

I enjoyed art at school but then forgot about it for a long time. During the first lockdown I experimented with some free watercolour workshops online, and renewed my love for being arty. They worked well during that crazy time as I could dip in and out, and even watch them with my children around, who sometimes joined in too. 

I also discovered the Mum Poem Press, an incredible community of parents online who were writing about their experiences. These poets inspired me, and I remember feeling this need to write about my experiences of parenting during a pandemic, leading to me penning my first poem since school called ‘Finding Light’. 

Since then I’ve written many more; about motherhood, my job, and various other life experiences. I don’t write regularly, but erratically and unpredictably, sneaking in moments when I can. I still struggle to call myself a proper poet but have found the process surprisingly therapeutic. 

Over the last few years I’ve also been attending an amazing spoken word event where I live. I have found a safe and supportive space to share my poetry which has in turn encouraged me to write more. 

I have also been able to use my love for all things creative in my role as a Trustee for Baby Umbrella. I have helped organise poetry events which were moving, uplifting and very powerful, with many of us connecting through the power of others words resonating with our own lives. 

When I’m engaged in creative activities time slows, offering a chance to reflect, away from the stresses of daily life. As someone who struggles with trying to do everything to a high standard, the lovely thing about being creative is you can just have fun and give yourself permission to make mistakes. I’m still trying to accept that it’s ok if it didn’t turn out quite right, or if I have to come back to it another time, and try again, but this can feel quite liberating!

It can certainly be very difficult to find time to be creative, especially if you’re looking for large blocks of uninterrupted time. I’ve found huge value in catching a few moments when children are playing quietly, or when they have gone to sleep. Instead of watching Netflix, I sometimes get the paintbrushes out, ignoring the piles of laundry, or the toys to be put away yet again. A sketchbook in my bag and the notes app on my phone allow me to make the most of a spare five minutes or a surprise flash of inspiration. 

I have a supportive partner, and we share our childcare responsibilities which means I can prioritise some time for me.  I used to feel guilty about doing something for me but I know I’m a better person for making time to do something I enjoy. I also think I’m being a good role model to my kids who see me being creative, and sometimes they even join in. It doesn’t have to be for long - there is no prescribed amount of time, and you can always come back to something you started but didn’t quite finish. Although I often wish I could write more poetry, or learn how to do lino printing, I don’t ever want to feel guilty about being creative. I take the opportunities when I can, and find what works for me, around my work and family life.

Your thing might be crochet, drawing, playing the piano, photography, or something else entirely. It may be something you already enjoy, or something completely new, on your own, or in a group, and even occasionally with your children. I hope reading about my experiences can encourage you to make time for creativity.