An anonymous reader shares her journey down a dark road
Gone are the days when I felt most like myself. Don’t get me wrong, becoming a mother has been rewarding, yet so scary and lonely at the same time.
My personality shaped itself into that of a friendly stranger (or monster) from the moment I became pregnant. This stranger, with their mixed bag of emotions, became my new self.
Although having a child was a personal choice, I feel that as a human I have a right to feel the way I do sometimes. Daily frustrations, anxiety and paranoia, and the feeling of ‘what if’, constantly cloud my mind. Society and the people around me sometimes made me feel like it was my duty to be happy, perky, and patient all the time. Everyone just needs to understand that I do – in FACT - have emotions.
I gave birth in the middle of Covid, and it felt like the mental health care support for new mothers just shut down.
My depression took me down a very lonely and dark spiraling road at a time when I was supposed to be ‘treasuring every moment’ and feeling nothing but joy and gratitude.
I am still suffering from depression and anxiety, on top of ADHD – which again went undiagnosed throughout my life. There is no quick fix. Little by little I am recognising, accepting, embracing my truth.
I've come to understand that post-natal depression is not a sign of weakness, nor is it a reflection of my love for my child. It's an emotional battle that countless mothers face, often in silence.
The weight of expectations and the pressure to be the perfect mother can be overwhelming.
So, to any mother who feels like a stranger in her own skin, struggling through the darkness of post-natal depression, you are not alone. You have the right to feel your emotions, seek help, and embrace your journey at your own pace. There is strength in vulnerability, and things do get better.
コメント